Therapy

Since my last post. Our house on Rosetta St. sold and we bought a new...old creepy house. The funniest part of the new older home is that Rosetta was built in 1928 (i think) and Pleasant Place...built in 1971. The dating of the place was horrible. Late 60's glamour for sure. There was flocked wallpaper, maroon carpet, green shaggy carpet, wood pannelling and a crusty old kitchen - that's right...crusty. It was disgusting. Since then we have done a lot of updating and have finally been living in the house for 1 week exactly. I hope to be back tomorrow with house pics - but I must upload them from my phone to the computer.
But my real reason for posting is - Therapy.
Lately I have had several friends who will be or who have had babies. They all look glowingly beautiful, they all sound patient, they are all on facebook and twitter merely hours after having their little angels. And it has all made me feel so guilty. I didn't want to talk to anyone I didn't want to see anyone. I just wanted to sleep 24 hours a day and I needed someone to rock my colic-y baby. I feel so gulity for not responding immediately to texts and tweets and what not, right away. And I can't help but wonder why was my experience so different? I was excited to go home, but I did feel like I was doing a million sit ups everytime I even so much as thought about raising my legs, or sitting upright in bed, thanks to that c-section. I already had a baby who fed 45-60 minutes at a time every 2.5 hours or sooner...(that means at 1pm I would feed him for about an hour - you don't start your time at the end of the hour but rather at the beginning...so 1.5 hours later I was feeding him again). That was misery. Pure misery. I wasn't comfortable enough to feed him in front of people and it was a HUGE adjustment for me. I don't know why I didn't realize that was going to be my job, but I sure didn't. I thought about what all the books said...about what the nurses said 15 minutes every 3 hours. That sounds like a cake walk. Then he had colic, which means basically you can never leave your house without a screaming baby. I'm not saying Dean was a bad baby I am just saying I wish I would have just quit moping and made the most out of my time then. I wish I would have just packed away my pride, and fixed a giant bottle of formula and fed my hungry, fussy baby when we were out and he had a meltdown. I feel like I made it more about me and less about this new precious angel in my arms. But most of all I should have talked to someone and they would have likely perscribed me meds...good ones. Now I know for next time, I suppose. The baby blues are legit.
I don't know what I can do to make myself feel better about my time on maternity leave or my time with family immediately after Dean's birth. I kind of want to do it all over again and at the same time...never do it all over again. Life's crazy like that.
Sorry for the crazy sounding board. Sometimes nothing else helps but writing it out. And now I feel better. --I wonder if I can get the good post pardum drugs now, he's only 16 months.

work it!

Ok you may remember my list post:

Well this is an update on that list!

We went from "lush zoysia" that the previous owner clipped with SCISSORS to this:

Yup! barren land. I don't know how we managed to kill only one side of our lawn, but we did it! The joys of homeownership. - We were way too cheap to actually pay for a lawn service. We did call for reinforcement about a month ago and recieved a note on our door that there was no hope, and we needed to re-sod. Well sodding is expensive, so the project fell to the back burner again. 2 weeks ago we went to sams club to browse the fun bulk items and stumbled across a seemingly fantastic product. I demanded we purchase it right then! Scott couldn't argue with me...sometimes its easier just to give in. Its Scotts ez seed.

I'm fairly certain this product is for bald "patches" not so much full re-seeding. But heck for $36 we needed to give it a chance.

So last wednesday I took a bow rake and broke up the ground as directed and raked away most of the dead grass then just spread the product all over. It actually tells you when it needs water. You know to water it if it looks reddish. So we have been watering twice a day, everyday since last wednesday and I actually looked up their "money back guarantee" yesterday b/c it just looked like a big ole square of dirt...whomp whaaaaamp.

Then today I go home for lunch and to do some house work and what do I see?! little grass sprouts! I'm one proud momma! I will continue covering this phenom, but I'm pretty darn excited to see the results!

please excuse left over dead bits of grass...focus on the green!

First Haircut

We took Dean to Pigtails and Crewcuts on Saturday, we had been putting off the first haircut for easily a month too long! Dean has always been blessed with a full head of hair (except for when he lost it at about 2 weeks old and looked like George Costanza) and it had just gotten too shaggy. He had never been mistaken for a girl but we were THIS close, I just knew it. So finally this saturday we had nothing on the books and we went for it!

My little Cabbie

The salon was GREAT! There were more than enough things there to occupy our time. It is sign in only no appointment so we had a nice little 30 minute wait. Dean played with the train table and the activity table, they had sofas and Ratatouille playing on a big tv there. Dean looks so great with his new do. I didn't even think about being sentimental about the trip or event at all. That was until the next morning when I went to get my sweet little baby and I reached in the crib and picked up a little boy. He just looked so big. I had a moment. How could this have raced by so quickly?!

I also didn't even give myself a chance to think about what kind of catastrophe the first haircut could have been. It was just never an option to have a meltdown, but once we got there, I realized our fun outing could go one of two ways. Thankfully it was great, and my little Dean was an angel! --This was not the case for most of the other little ones.

so handsome - and so grown up!

I am so lucky to have such a laid back and very active little one. I know I paid for it up front though. Dean had Colic...BAD. Like whoa, crying all the time while my sweet friends angel babies just sat there and cooed...what am I doing wrong, bad. Thank goodness that's over and I'm being rewarded - I deserve it, Promise!

Theory...possibly.

Ok, we had KILLER pictures taken of our little home. Well our fabulous realtor did anyway. And i'm thinking the reason we may not have gotten a bite is all in the realities. The photos look fabulous, but when you get in the house I wonder if people think...hmmm, the pictures look just a little bit nicer. To be fair, of course we had photos taken on a day when our house was staged to the nines and there wasn't a baby toy or play thing in sight. I think over the next few weeks I'm going to focus on the small things...tidying up and finishing touches.

Now for the list:
plant herbs or flowers in the planters
plant tomato plants
give the deck a nice fresh coat of paint and re-inforce where needed
grow grass on the front lawn (yes...pitiful - no wonder)
trim up hedges
pressure wash fence
pick up dog poo on a regualr basis - ewww
clear out and re-landscape right side of house

Will keep you all posted.

Goings on.

Its been a while, instead of apologizing (who reads this thing anyways?) I'm just going to pick right up.

My life has been lived in iphone pictures. Prepare yourself to judge me. We probably have 10-20 photos on an actual point and shoot camera...300 on my iphone. I'm just so busy -doing what I don't know, but obviously way too busy to grab a camera, but waiting for that camera app to load on my original iphone 3g (clunky operating system that won't update to the current one) I can do. Ridiculous I tell you.

I had a luxurious 7 week maternity leave (no i'm not exaggerating, my workplace is awesome)- where I didn't know up from down, and was basically comatose for the first 2 weeks - thank you c section. Here we are on Dean's first day of school! 7 weeks old and long and lean with me in the background looking the exact opposite. :)

Things have gotten so much better, Dean is fun, not crying for all hours anymore and we have a rhythm for our day to day routines. Thank goodness. It really took us about 4 months to get there, and ever since I have just been soaking up wonderful time with my baby boy.

We put our house on the market March 1, 2011...its still there. We have a wonderful realtor, that's blog famous! and I am thankful that our house has been "show ready" about 90% of the time. That's the good life I tell ya.

See our house beautiful here: http://http//www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/323-Rosetta-St_Little-Rock_AR_72205_M73755-13959

I have my sights set on a creaker of a house that needs major help in a ME kind of way! Hoping we can get everything worked out and start a new journey.