Holding baby Dean

I guess once you open the gates up to actually writing your thoughts they just keep on commin'. As I was writing my last post about my dad...there was so much I wanted to say, but that's the beauty of the blogosphere. I have infinite room and can post all I want.

As I said before I didn't believe how sick my dad actually was. He looked really ill but wouldn't let you think he was for one second. He was so yellow...b/c his liver wasn't working properly, he looked tired. But that smile that he had, made you forget about it all. Made you look beyond the yellow tone of his skin, his tired look, his need to rest. He would tell you jokes and take your mind off of the disease. I loved it.

My mom came over to my house one day to help me out with Dean and so that we could just talk things through. It was around the first of a month, that is always the hardest because you know its one more month without him. She wanted to tell me a little story and I wanted to share it on here so that I can know its written down. She had been to get her port flushed and had been visiting all of the nurses that took care of her and dad and one of them sat her down and wanted to tell her something. We kind of all thought he probably knew he was going...that his time here was comming to an end and he was going to be with his Heavenly Father.

He told her about how much he wanted to be able to meet Dean.

Wow...I have never felt so loved in all of my life. Even though it seems like such a "duh" sentence. I know it meant he knew his time was comming. He wanted to hang on for all of us...for my little boy too.

We all laughed that Dean was taking his sweet time getting here...but we sort of think that Dad was getting to hold baby Dean in heaven before sending him down to be with us. I believe it too, because Dean is our Angel, straight from heaven.